A Caution Against Coldness

Coldness in relationships is pathogenic.

In traditional medicine, coldness is a pathogen. Cold can cause disease.

There are many ways we can look at this dynamic, from the physical to the spiritual, but the way I want to look at this today is through the prism of our emotions.

When relationships become cold through the absence of connection, communication, trust, and intimacy- disease brews.

It may start off with a slight ‘cold’ infection: more bickering, snide remarks, and more separation from one another as the coldness settles in and the ‘immune system’ of our nafsani defense mechanisms galvanize to ‘protect’ us.

And they do, to some degree, whether through anger expression (heat) or mirroring of the cold.

Our coping mechanisms help us to increase our internal warmth, ie safety, self-worth, etc, and things can go back to “normal”… but what happens when bitter coldness strikes again?

What happens when s/he starts to stonewall again?

We go right back into our strategies. We scramble for the old survival mechanisms in attempt to keep the cold out as quickly as possible.

Or maybe these recurrent ‘colds’ become something more chronic and debilitating. Like a hypothyroidism that presents with Raynaud’s and depression…

But there is an invitation here.

When we heal, we change these dynamics.

We build our vitality and constitutional strength by reconnecting with our embodied hearts so that we stay warm internally, regardless of the environment.

It can be a cold day in the relationship. But you stay toasty.

Is this bypassing?

No. This is anchoring your identity and self-worth in your heart, where there is always the warmth of connection- at minimum to yourself and God- and which does not waver.

And when this happens and another shows you coldness, you don’t to succumb to it and begin to express ‘cold’ symptoms.

You stay warm. You don’t get sick.

And this is the greatest way of managing disease. Prevention.

We do inner work so that we don’t get cold.

And when you can’t get cold, you can keep the heat on for others to ‘thaw’ and warm themselves up quicker.

And what a beautiful thing that is.

Our Prophet ﷺ was warm. As warm and balanced as they come.

And he melted hearts. He softened the most frigid of constitutions with his ﷺ forbearance, integrity, love, generosity, and magnanimity.

And this is the invitation for us all.

To become beacons of light and warmth. Because have you ever seen a light source that doesn’t produce heat?

May God bless us with a warmth that keeps us strong, resilient, and beacons of mercy to the world.

———

Mazen Atassi, ND

Dr. Mazen is a naturopathic doctor, classic homeopath, and Hikma therapist. To learn more about him and his services visit: www.forwardtohealth.com/dr-mazen